What They Don't Tell You About Leaving Prison

​In prison, you are in isolation. Not literally by yourself, but effectively the same. You are stuck with a crowd of other guys, completely removed from the outside world, "the brick," in the most intimate sense. You may watch the news and follow events or trends, but you aren’t living them. It’s as if someone described a movie to you, but you never actually saw it. (That happened with most hit movies while I was locked up; late-night talk shows filled me in on the plots, so I knew the stories but never had the experience.)

​This disconnect is one of many factors contributing to the common inmate mindset. If you asked a sample group about their career plans post-incarceration, you’d hear a lot of them say they want to open a food truck, start a business, or flip houses. They want to jump into social media and chase the hype, or become a millionaire trading stocks and playing DraftKings. Because they spent so long in isolation, their years of mental loop theory became law in their own minds.

​Personally, I thought I’d immediately find a career in writing. I figured I would save money on vehicle expenses by getting one of those e-bikes I read about in The New Yorker, and just cook my own cheap food. All the money traps I heard about people falling into had an easy, theoretical solution in my head. But it was all just that: theory.

​That being said, reality didn’t hit me like a ton of bricks. The discipline and gratitude I cultivated inside served me well. I stayed away from the circus of drugs and petty crime, saved my money the best I could, and tried to appreciate every little thing I had waited for.

​But then came the adjustments.

​Reality Check #1: The novelty wears off fast.

The excitement of doing something you haven't done in years hits like a drug, but the second time loses 90% of the magic. If I had realized that sooner, I would have saved the mental energy I wasted dreaming about what I wanted back. I should have told myself, "All those things will eventually be at arm's reach, and then they will just be normal. What's the actual game plan?"

​Reality Check #2: You won't have the time.

Time is the greatest luxury you don't realize you have until you're out. You need to focus your time immediately. Develop a skill that sets you apart and become an expert in something. Anything. All those movies you missed? You will never have the time to catch up on them. Pick your top five and move on. After a full day of work, a commute, and personal errands, your tiny pocket of free time is quickly overpowered by fatigue. Sleep always wins. Use. Your. Time.

​Reality Check #3: No one cares.

I remember the first time I got into an Uber after getting out. I had heard about the service for years, and now I was finally experiencing it. I sat in the backseat and told the driver, with genuine excitement, that it was my first-ever Uber ride. He just gave me an awkward look and drove in silence.

​That was a foreshadowing of how society reacts to everything you bring to the table. If I tell someone I was inside for ten years, they just imagine how they would handle it, bring up a story about someone else they know who went to prison, or offer a short, polite comment. This massive, unique event that rebuilt my entire identity is just a boring tidbit to the average listener. Attention is a currency now, and most of the time, you aren't in the budget.

​All of this might sound like a jaded, pessimistic take, but it really isn't. You just need to shake that inmate syndrome out of your head, and you'll be fine. Prepare to be patient, take the small wins, and don't go backwards. If you play it right, life ends up being pretty good in a way you never could have mapped out from a bunk. You turn back into a normal person, which is exactly the point.